The Frank Plan of Pwnage

to be continued...

Seems like stalemate, but who cares, we're grindin...

Nothing new and Exciting to post, My BR is virtually the same to my last post. Seems like I've stumbled upon a little bit of a dry spell... It's only slightly annoying since I'm moving up in the Ladder rankings and getting more status points at least. I've been putting in the hours, more results will come soon. Here's one interesting hand from tonight,

** Game #115490775 begins **
Gazab has the dealer button
TOMMYBALL posts the small blind 0.10
Lightman posts the big blind 0.20
GrandCasino posts 0.20
Dealer deals you [Ks, As]
BKR28685 folds
luchodrunka calls 0.20
Moochie folds
Nixwinz11 calls 0.20
IDreamOfMoney folds
Bigbearext folds
GrandCasino checks
Gazab calls 0.20
TOMMYBALL calls 0.10
Lightman raises 1.40
luchodrunka folds
Nixwinz11 folds
GrandCasino folds
Gazab goes all in, raises 3.80
TOMMYBALL raises 6.20
Lightman goes all in, calls 4.60
TOMMYBALL was returned 0.20 chips
Dealing Flop [5h, 2s, 6c]
Dealing Turn [Ad]
Dealing River [Ah]
TOMMYBALL shows a pair of Aces
TOMMYBALL's pocket cards were [7c, 4c]
Gazab shows a pair of Aces -Queen kicker
Gazab's pocket cards were [Td, Qd]
Lightman shows three of a kind Aces
Lightman's pocket cards were [Ks, As]
Lightman wins $4.15 Real money from side pot 1!
Lightman's winning hand was [As Ah Ad Ks 6c]
Lightman wins $12 Real money from main pot!
Lightman's winning hand was [As Ah Ad Ks 6c]
Community Cards: [5h] [2s] [6c] [Ad] [Ah]

Yes that is correct: Gazab limp raised QTsooted on the button and Tommyball did isolate me with 74sooooooooted
Thanx TP for letting me hold after the stupidity lolol (TP loves me like that)

On a more personal note, I got a week off since my second semester (of 3) has now poofed in Audio Engineering. I gotta do 40 hours of stage (internship) in order to graduate so I killed it last night doing 11 hours lol. 25% done!!! WOOOT!!! Little sore though... It was a charity event held every year. The big band club (together since 1964 with some additions along the way) consisted of 5 saxes, 4 trumpets, 4 trombones, guitar, bass, keyboard, drummer, singer. They were aged 50-80 and they played oooooooold school stuff for old people to dance to... It was soooo cute... I gotta hand it to the people there, they were salsa/tango/waltzing for 4 straight hours lol

I did bitch work at first, setting up chairs, tables, from 2-3:30... Then the sound dude came at 3:30 and we set up till 6:30. He was fuckin awesome, great guy, we were talking a lot about the industry and possibilities of work after I graduate, etc... Left to get food at 6:30, got a little pizza, tried to eat it in the car, highly unsuccessful... Burnt the roof of my mouth big time weeeeeeeeeee...

Got back at 7:30, band started at 8:30. They did 4 sets in total taking breaks in between cuz like come on, an 85 year old can only play the trombone for so long b4 passing out. 12:30 came along, band finished we cleaned up our shit and left at 1:30am. I honestly had a great time. During the sets I was tweaking faders on the mixer, adjusting sound levels and cueing mics. I then (really sore at this point) drove 35 mins to pick up the GF (cuz she was bored). Got to her place at 2 ish (cruise control FTW!!!) got home at 2:30 (cruise control FTW again!!!) And passed oooooooooooooooooooooout...

Ladder Ladder Ladder:

Hand played: 11619
Hand Rank: 4790th
Status points: 1284.30 (still rookie, Bronze a comin soon)

BR: $272.25

Happy Grindaments,

Lightus

Stupid people piss me off

UTG + 2 (moron) limps, i got QQ on button, i raise, he calls
he checks flop
742 rainbow,
i raise and put him AI
and Moron's got KK
ooooooooo boy

So i had to say something: (he started it though hahahaaha)

(Moron was from Quebec City, so is Henglish whas preetty Orrible)

Moron: TP does it again
Lightman: that wasn't TP, that was you not knowing how to play KK
Lightman: NH though... I guess...
Moron: What???
Moron: Did I took all your money??
Moron: I guess you don't know how to play
Lightman: hahahahaha limp KK read a book sir
Moron: did i won yes or no???
Lightman: I said NH...

Moron leaves (obv) its probably better he did cuz i was about to go french kung fu on his ass...

As for yesterday:

I FREAKIN PWNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNED

Micro cash is so much fun when your dominating and hold when you really need to.
Ex: KK> 22, ATo, AKo

FLop QJ9
T: 9
R: ..............9!!!

That was 1 beast

another: (took this guy to SCHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOL)

Now this chopticle played really badly and loooooooved to show his cards, to the point where I was typing in the Chat and almost 100% guessing his cards loooooool.

So I raise with like AQ or something, he calls, flop J94... i check, he ooooverbets
like super overbet, 2x the pot. I hollywood it... type in "omg overbet sooooooooooo tempting!!!"
i fold and he gladly shows K9o.

20 mins later it was like déja vu.

I raise AJ, he calls, Flop QT5, i check, he oooooooooverbets the pot, double again (obv)
so i hollywood it and this time i say "O man, Again??? So that means like JT or T9??? Am I right???"

i fold, and happily shows T9o (beginning to see a pattern here??? looooooool)

His incredible play wasnt really getting to me since in my head i fugured it was just a matter of time b4 he pays me off...

and this is the hand you've all been waiting for!!!

UTG i Raise QQ to .70c (my standard for these tables)
he's right next to me , calls
BB calls too,
Flop: Qd 4d 4c
BB checks , I check, donk bet 1$, BB folds, i call
T: 8h
I check to donk, He thinks about it and bets 5$ into 4$
(not like his regular overbets, guess he was afraid of pot size)
so I call (obv)
R: 2d (perfect card for me, figure he was fishing or something...)
we've both got about 14$ left, pots at 14$ as well
so i figured 7$ or half pot was the best bet to make
So then he IIIIINSTA repops all in, like you do not understand how insta it was!!!
I call obv, and he shows the always respectable: Q9o (OMG IT WASN'T EVEN SOOTED)

Donk points:
Case Queen FTW!!!
and donk cant fold top pair Ass kicker.
40$ pot was by far the biggest since i've gotten back to the site (considering the tables i'm at)

Today I played about 250 hands and lost 1$ (omg kill me now) lots of dumb moves on my part and great rivers that fucked me in the butt (with no lube, so obv)

Climbing the Ladder:

Hands: 9201
Rank: 5693th
points: 934.05 (bronze at 2000 points, i figure i need another 2 weeks)

BR: $276.99

Happy Grindaments, gfy,

Lightus

Uh oh...

So as you can tell March wasn't the greatest month I've ever had... I hit 900 in the cake BR and was sick and tired of 10NL so I moved up to 20NL!!! What a great choice!!! My biggest mistake was not going back to 10NL when I started slumping. And I mean some INTENSE slumping was going down. In the month i lost approx 300, but whats even sicker is that at least 200 of it was lost on rivers which wasn't really fun, and the pots got pretty huge considering the jump was only from 10NL to 20NL... So I'm sitting with 600 in my account ( all bonus $$$ not actual profit since I lost all that loooooool). It took me a while to cash it out since it was a little bit of a hassle with support trying to get my info.

So I cash out everything except 30$. I also took a mini break to clear my head and concentrate on school stuff. I played once in a blue moon but nothing crazy, like a S&G every now and then...

Fast Forward to April 27th. I go into a 24$ 6 Max turbo. 1. Because I'm a donk, and 2. Cuz I was feelin luckaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay :S... So 4 handed 97o>QQ so obv i was a pwnasaurus... Ended up taking it down, so, i transfered the remaining $$$ onto stars thru a friend (cuz on cake the minimum cash out thru check is $500). I played 2 tourneys on stars and remembered why i hated stars loooool. So i cashed that out to and kept my stars BR how I like it nowadays ---> $0... :D :D :D

So I was looking at all my other poker sites to see if i had $$$ on them... and I fouuuuuuuuuund one!!! Enter my Starting site from 3 years ago. True poker... I started playing there for free back in the day. I liked the site cuz it was small and had minimal Traffic. And it has 3-D tables. Not like PKR who's software takes up your entire computer. This site is the complete opposite memory wise... 3 years ago when I made my 1st deposit I thought this site was really strong skill wise. BOY was I wrong... Since I've got Xfactor under my belt and am a completely diff player than 3 years ago I figured I'll check it out. I found 30$ on TP, let the micro grind begin, OBV!!!

30$. More than enough :D :D :D... TP has weird structures. 5nl but with 20NL blind structures, 10NL but with 40NL blind structures etc. So I've been 3 tabling the 5NL... Bumped 30$ up to $170 in a week!!! WOOOOOOOOT!!!

I also FT'd a MTT there. Every wednesday they got a 10$ 1000$ guarenteed. 2 weeks ago there was 75 people in it!!! MUST BE NICE. 300 for 1st!!! whaaaaaaat, so I was CL with 30 left, lost 2 races and finished 22nd loooooool.

2 nights ago i joined the same tourney... This time i satted in loooool, 2$ 6max 1 seat (obv) i eliminated everyone (ran like a god) and got my seat. 107 people this time!!! O BOY lololol!!! WHAT A ROLLER COASTER of a tourney... It got exciting when there were about 20 left...

Blinds at 500/1000, (no antes) I forget the hand but i was ahead pre and lost, so i had 2.5 BBs left.
Shove J9 UTG, everyone folds except BB, i hit a J and double. 5BBs
Double again next orbit: UTG limps big stack i shove KTo, He's got AQ, K on flop. tytytytyty
10BBs now.
blinds go by (6BBs now), i got A4o, gotta shove. guy wakes up with TT, A on turn lol
and with 11 people left now last great hand i had to shove JT vs AK, flop a J

Running good now right??? wrooooooong,
FT now
7 left, i shove J9s into shorty, he snap calls with QTo, flop T87 (NUUUUUUTS) and i lose looooool
Turn T, riv 7, FUUUUUUUUUCK OOOOFF
And last but not least
i'm short, (btw with 7 left only 2 people had 10BB or more)
get 66 UTG, gotta go, guy next to me wakes up with Aces,
flop 6xx,
turn brick,
river ACE!!!!!!!!!!!! MBNMBNMBNMBNMBNMBN

With all the shit i had to go thru to get to the FT i guess i deserved those 2 beats. so 7th for a cool 50$, winner got 325 though... :( :( :(

BRs at $220 from $30!!!
Grinding = fun

Some little TP tidbits:
www.truepoker.com
They've got ladder rankings for ring game hands and tourney winnings
They have Status changes too, so now i'm a rookie...
I need 2000 points to hit Bronze status, then they got Silver, Gold, and Platinum
For every $1 of rake, you get 1 point. Below that you get a fraction of a point.
20c rake = .20 status points for the hand etc...

So when i started i had 1.5 status points looooooool (its over a 4 month period)
I had 4300 ring game hands played ( i guess since 3 years ago)
and was ranked 8713th

Since April 27th:
Hands played: 7948
Ladder rank: 6288th
Status Points: 747.15
BR: $221.49

End of February Report!!!

Since my last post I've played about 4 seshs. The haven't been really productive except the one from yesterday... I don't know what it is but some days you just run a lot worse than others. Nothing goes right, you lose all the races and you definitely go on life tilt!!! :D :D :D

Thats what happend to me a couple days ago, I was running so cold on cake and stars it was gross. I told myself I wouldn't play on stars anymore but since i helped a buddy make a sick cash he shipped me $50 on stars cuz he loves me obvobvobv... so i might as well stars adding my stars BR to the end on my posts to see how long it takes me to lose it!!! He's been playing the $6 45 man turbos and recently has been quite profitable at them, so play pretty tight at the beginning and super aggro at the end. I went as high at 110$ then down to 30, now i'm at 95...

As for good ol CAKE.

A couple days ago I had a beast of a session on Cake. Right away I went down a buy in, then 30 mins later lost another one, then this stupid whore over played a FLUSH DRAW and i some how survived the turn and riv, KK > 97SOOOOOOOOOTED... Then 20 mins later i lost another buy in, blah blah blah.................... Ex of how good i was running that day:

I got 77 in a HU,
flop 875
Tard bets, I re-pop, Tard calls
turn 8, (boat much?)
we go all in, Tard shows 98
riv........9!!!!!! of course!!!! HEY HEY YA DON'T SAY!!!
better boat for the win!!!

I had a couple bad seshs in a row until yesterday... MBN when you jump into the riv a huge favorite and win the pot... there wasn't any crazy pots, just little ones here and there, my sesh lasted about 4 hours and 3 tables i played about 800 hands, i got another $10 from the bonus account within the 1st hour of my sesh... I ended up taking 4 buyins on top on that so yesterday was a mini slump killer...

Since I forgot to add the bigger end of January stats, here they are:

biggest stat: Overall on 10NL 6 max,
-$84.90

And Cake overall
$-55.55

February Stats:

Hands dealt: 12750
Hands raked: 4534
Biggest stat: 10NL 6 max for Feb,
+$262.65 <------------------(WOOOOOOOOOOT)

Cake overall Feb:
+253.55

Little things to add,
January I was involved in 34% of the hands
February I was involved in 36% of the hands

Pretty consistant :D loooooool
Getting closer to my goal of 1k!!!
Ship
It
SON

Gold coin count: 31
Gold card count: 15

End of Feb BR: $818.00
and why not,
Dirty Stars BR: $95.04

FGDSFHBCVBFGJFGN FGHJDN SDZRFGTSGJ?!?!!!?!?!??!?!?!???!?!?!?

HAHAAHAH just kidding, not angry at all... didnt play today but yesterday was super productive dont really remember any juicy stuff, i played for about 3 hours and made a couple buyins. I emailed support and asked why i'm only getting low Gold Cards. I asked them if I needed to go into bigger stakes to get higher cards. Their response was complete B.S . They told me the cards are rewarded though a "Random Shuffle Generator"...hahahahahhahahaha riiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiight... I started talking to to someone at one of my tables and he got a pretty good laugh out of it too. So the same person i spoke to got a gold card 10 mins after but it was hidden from the table...

So I said, hey dude , lemme guess 2 of clubs??? He instantly replied, holy crap you're right, how did you know??? I replied, Random shuffle MY ASS, LOLOL (I got like 5 of those 2 of clubs, lol)

1 hand i remember, so weird... OBV fish

guy raises to .35
i re-pop with AA to about 1.2 on the SB
he flats
flop 2 spades,
i pot it
he flats,
turn blank
i bet 6$
he flats,
riv blank,
i bet 1.30$ into a $17 pot and he folds
SFOBV FISH



End of Day BR: $786.31

6 buy-ins for 6 in a row... SHIP... IT... SON...

That's right folks, 6 in a row, on my way to hitting my first goal 1k!!!!!!!!! Many people with this BR probably would have moved up levels by now but i said i wanted to hit 1k b4 moving up and i'm not gonna lie, its a freakin grind and a half!!!

I got notes on so many people playing 10nl 6 max it's incredible, and they're obviously all productive notes (LOL) ok, some actually say "KILL THIS BITCH NEXT TIME/TAKE ALL HIS $$$$$$$$$$$$$$$"

I rived this dude in a pot and he got super pissed, wasnt my fault though, he flopped top pair, min bet EVERY street, and i got a runner runner flush, obv

Then after a limper i got QQ, raise to 5oc and he shoves for $9
I snap it (just for him)
he shows A9o,
gg sir
ship the buy in...

It's 3am and i'm freakin tired, i don't know what to write about anymore :( :( :(

End of Day BR: $730.57

Ridin on the heater train!!!

Word of the day: Donating.

Ex: Thank you sir for donating $$$$$$$$ to my Bankroll.

I know all my seshes arent going to turn out positive but its fun while its lasting!!! I was all over the place yesterday playing:

2 $10nl cash seshs (one in the afternoon, one at night)
$10 pot limit Omaha H/L 6 max (i think its called PLO8)
$3 6 max PLO8 SNG
$6 bounty 30 man Sng

My first 10nl sesh went well, i played for about 1 1/2 hours, made $17

Then I played the PLO8 sng, won that for 8.70

It was like déja vu in the bounty sit and go since i scored a double KO, then went off to bubble the FT, obv, lol

In the PLO8 cash table i made $8 in 30 mins thanks to a couple donations... I guess they didnt really know what they were doing...

In my last sesh of the night (10nl) I decided to 4 table, wasn't the initial plan, but i had won a buy-in right away 3 tabling to i figured i'd try it out... Nothing really crazy happened except this guy shoved 6$ pre and i decided to call with JJ, he had 88, WP 88... i was playing a little aggressive so when i actually had hand people decided to donate... :D :D :D

End of day BR: $657.97

3 in a row??? why not...

We're on a roll!!! I really don't know what i'm doing differently (well...kinda), maybe its not running KK into AA... Seems like I haven't been set up in a bit (knock on wood)... Once again some solid play and really big holds have come my way!!! Holds like such:

I raise pre with AKs,
2 callers,
Kxx flop,
I c-bet,
get INSTA INSTA INSTA min-re-raised (so insta!!!)
i shove
he snaps with the good ol K5offer...
so no 5 obv on the turn and riv and i win a really nice pot!!!

Still running like poop in those 1$ Sng's... Don't really know why, I guess the play is just way to shit for a much higher caliber player like myself (hahaahhaaahahahhahaahhaahahhaaha)

These last 3 seshs have been 3 tabling 10NL which was the initial plan. I said I wanted stop 10NL but a friend told me if you cant beat 10nl whats the point of going up a level which is true.. obvobvobv

So what did I change???

Well, first off whenever I start a sesh and the "BOT" I mean Celeron266 is playing, I just sit to his left!!! Just get position on him, lol, really simple... The way I wont get into any pots with him, unless I get AA UTG... :D :D :D



Secondly, follow the micro commandments!!! They're golden.

I'm averaging 1 gold card per sesh which is sick, but they're beginning to repeat :S


BountyBountyBounty

I looooooooooooooooooooove the cake bounty tourney structure!!! Wtv the buy-in is, 1/2 goes to the prize pool, and 1/2 goes as a bounty... so $6 entry, 3 goes to prize pool and 3 goes to each kill!!!

End of day BR: $597.07

2 In a row??? Impossibibble...

Someone's been running good... who me??? naaaaaaaaaaaaaw...

Well after 1 million losing seshes and a BR drop from 620 to 470, things are finally turning for the better!!! :D :D :D No dirty suckouts, some solid play, thats about it... Not to mention hitting trips... like 10 times... Sometimes it wasnt even my fault... like 52o on the bb, 5 on flop, everyone checks, 5 on turn... not my fault!!!

I've also found a way to get more gold coins!!! Since that micro pace of getting gold coins takes forever, I've tried the gold coin SnG's!!!

buy in: 2 gold coins

1st: 9 coins
2nd: 6 coins
3rd: 3 coins

What a bunch of fuckin chopticles... I played 2:

3nd for 3 coins
2nd for 6 coins :D :D :D

New fancy Gold Coin total: 23

End of day BR: $565.75

Finally, a breath of fresh air...

After about 10 losing sessions and a partial loss of my sanity playing micro cash games, i decided to buy into 3, 10NL micro cash games and cake finally gave me what i deserved and was extremely overdue for... A winning session!!! I was making all the correct moves, correct reads, correct folds, etc... i won about 7 races for really good pots, all in pre with a high PP i held everytime. i forgot to mention i started my sesh at 2 in the morning and these players were fuckin morons.

Ex: this guy, lets call him fucktard... So fucktard is sitting to my right with $25. Calling shoves with Ax soooted, talking way to much... typing in caps... just really annoying... So i look at KK... UTG raises to .30c, he re-raises to .85c, i raise to 2.50... UTG folds and fucktard shoves... i call, he shows QJ, nh sir... flops a Jack, but tonight is my night sucka!!! i obv hold :D :D :D

Gold cards: I'm not 100% sure what they do, all i know is that you gotta play ring games, if you get all 52 you win 52k (woot!!!) lol, so these last 3 days i've gotten 3!!! :D :D :D You can play in the daily gold card free roll, winner gets 1k, like 500-ish people join. Lets say the daily free roll asks for a 2 on diamonds, if you have a 2 of diams, you can use it to enter the tourney... But i have a feeling you wont have that 2 of diams anymore if you wanna go for the 52k...
GC's: 2h, 4d, 4c.

I've been getting gold chips at a super micro pace obv...
gold chip total: 18 (only 1142 away from a Ipod touch!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!)

I've taken $80 out of the bonus account but have nothing really to show for it cuz of the last 2 weeks of dirty seshs... :( :( :(

Well needed End of day BR boost: $536.05

gotta switch something up...obvobvobv

End of Jan stats:
Hands dealt: 8608
Hands Raked: 2928


So someone wrote a post on Xfactor (for sure got it from somewhere else but who cares, lol) and i was like holy shit this is me down to the freakin last word... it was a post about beating the micro cash games so i'm now going to call them the 8 commandments :D :D :D


8 Commandments of micro cash:

Don’t try and ‘outplay’ your opponents
When you sit down at the table, you can happily think that you are the best player at that table. But being cocky in the micro limits will lead to disaster. If you try and take pots away from your opponent representing that 3 of a kind, and find that they call you down with bottom pair, you have got nobody to blame but yourself. Remember you are playing for money and not individual pots, only get your money in with the best of it.

Micro players love to chase
You are expecting your opponents in the micros to have a low understanding of the game. So if you bet twice the size of your pot and your opponent calls, you cant rule out that they will have a flush or straight draw, as they probably will not be familiar with pot odds. Remember that if your opponent has bad odds and calls to try and make his draw, that’s a good thing for you, because you will be winning more money in the long run. Just be sure to bet a larger amount into the pot when against multiple opponents to give each of them bad odds to call.

Buy in for the max, but don’t be afraid to lose it.
Due to the loose action at the micros, you can be expecting players to be going and calling all-ins with all sorts of made hands and draws. If you are buying into the table with the maximum, you are giving yourself the best opportunity to make the most money. Make sure that when you’re all in that you have then best of it, that way you are going to come out on top. Just remember its not often that you are a 100% favorite to win on the flop, so you cant win them all. If you’ve got the best of it, don’t be afraid to put your whole buy in on the line (if you have got the bankroll).

Don’t give your opponents tips
After you take a horrific bad beat from an equally bad player, the first thing you will want to do is criticize their play and tell them how bad it was. But wait, it was so bad that you should be over the moon that they called. If you are that far ahead of them with your top set and the flop, you want them to go all in with their gutshot straight. After all, you wouldn’t be complaining if you won that particular hand. Keep your advice to yourself and let the player make the same bad play next time.

Bet your good hands, fold your bad hands
It is pretty much basic poker strategy, but this is what works best at the micros. There is no need to be tricky with your play, if you make a good hand bet, and if you don’t, just fold. You may be afraid to scare players out of the pot, but most of the time they will call you with absolutely any hand.

Beware of raising
From my experience at the micro limits, players will not often raise pre flop unless they have a solid hand. The game plan for most of the players at the table is to see as many flops as possible, hit a huge hand, then bet and take as much money as they can from it. Your opponents won’t give a second thought to what you might hold; they are only playing to the strength of their own hand. This is why they call decent raises with bottom pair on the flop, because they’ve got a pair. So if you see a player raising pre flop and on every street then beware, they’ve probably got something good. Micro players are much happier calling than they are raising.

Don’t bluff
This is similar to the first point, as bluffing is a way of trying to outplay your opponent. Remember that a large number of players will be seeing the flop, and so a bluff of any kind is unlikely to work. Players will be calling with any half decent hand, so just put your money in when you do make a hand, and when you don’t, let it go.

Don’t be too concerned about your image
If you only play premium hands and bet with the best of it, don’t be too worried that the other players are cottoning on to your game. Players at the micros are far too concerned about the way they play opposed to the way that you play. So don’t feel pressured to ‘mix it up’ a little, as your opponents probably won’t even notice.

And since that i fucking suck at 10nl, since people call with such a dirty fucking range of hands i'm going up to 20nl. Maybe that's what I need, i'm so tired of losing TT-AA to 23s(including every garbage p.o.s hand in between these 2 shit hands)89s

End of 10NL(GFY) BR: $482.95

happy B-day to me/ taking a break

Thursday was my birfday which I spent watching the Habs sick comeback against New Jersey and studying all night. In poker world, I've either been running like shit, or some guys are just playing much better at pwning than I am. My last couple sessions have been pretty shitty so since I got 6 finals next week I've obviously decided to take a break till at least next thursday.

WOOT back to square 1

End of Week dirty BR: $514.45

Bot??? Likely...

I was too annoyed to post after my 2nd to last sesh cuz every time i had TT-KK that went to the flop, i lost. Against sets, straights, flushes... I just could seem to do anything right... I think i lost about 35, and thats on 10N freakin L... i have to remember when i see these beats that i'm once again only playing 10NL... The stupid part is that i think i gave 90% of it to the same person (COUGHbotCOUGH)...

In the sesh i played last night, i left a table with $40 and still managed to lose $5 LOOOOOll... Once again donating (apparently) to the bot... so this guy calls raises with any 2, and always seem to hit monster flops when i got a premium... the flop never really helps me though which is awesome, cuz i love spreading my wealth to others, i'm a giving kinda person...

End of Day ShpankRoll: $553.02

Continuation from gross sesh

Nothing too crazy here re-cooped most of my losses until TT<77 on a 7xx flop, fuuuuuuun. Although i get angry when i get TT-AA sucked out on, i have to remember that most of my profit has come from me hitting like a million sets, LOOOOL

Ending BR: $600.01

Bump in the road

Saying of the Day: Humongo Bongo Blinds

Ex: (just use your imagination :D :D :D)

I drove into a ditch. At least thats how I felt during my last 2 sessions. I felt as if I was driving on black ice, swerving and shit, doing 180's and 360's and 2312342354's... ran into AA a couple times... Every time i got TT-KK an over flopped, and/or turned and/or rived...

Hand of the night so far: Folded to me, I got AJs on the boootton, raise it up 3x, SB and BB call. flop A86, SB bets, i re-pop, he flats, turn 2, he checks, I bet $4, he flats, river 7. he checks, I check so board is A8627. He shows mother fuckin 76 fucking offsuit. GOLLY JEEPERS BATMAN, I GUESS I MISSED THE MEMO WHERE IT'S OK TO CALL LIKE 9 STREETS WITH BOTTOM PAIR... WellPlayedUFuckinDonkey

If i win that hand my mediocre sesh turns into a drity sesh, I continue to run like a god... I was down 30ish until I quit right after i got $10 for the lovely free $$$ account...

End of Day BR (but who knows, I might venture back in): $592.91

1 sweet set, 1 SICK SICK SICK RIVER (GFY CAKE)

Connection was retarded again yesterday, so i reset my modem 48 times. I guess the 48th time was the charm cuz then i sat on my 3 boootiful tables and starting working. Nothing crazy at first until i picked up 88 on the BB. Cutoff raises 5x, so up to 50c, Button flats, i call as well. Before i called i asked cake to give me a set about 9 times (I got witnesses!!!). THEN BOOM, 862 flop (giiiiiiin) i check, 5x raiser bets out, button calls, i raaaaaaaaise obv, raiser folds, and button shoves all in?!?!?!?!?!!?!?!?!? Okaaay, WTF can he have??? 66??? 22??? I call (duh) he shows QQ!!!!!! Veeeeery well played QQ, thank you for your patronage.... that was about a $22 pot...

So I'm up about $25 for the sesh which is sweet, I leave 2 tables... (LAST HAND OF THE NIGHT) Last table i get 33 on the button so i decide why not see a flop. flop is 277, Loose at a goose bets, i call, turn 10, he bets, i call... river 3!!! He SHOVES?!?!!?!?!!?!? I WAS LEAVING, WHY THE FUCK WOULD THEY DO THIS TO ME??? LOLOLOL

So now i got a fuckin $20 dilemma. Do i fold my full boat and leave with +++$25??? Or make the call and get sick when i either see 77, TT, or the always dangerous T7??? WHAT A FUCKING RIVER!!! So after 20 secs (MY GUT SAID FOLD, BUT WHO EVER LISTENS TO THEIR GUT???) I make the hero call... well... it wasnt really a hero call since i had a fucking BOAT!!! He shows T7, Gee Fucking Gee sesh, woo hoo for $4 profit... fucking guy... its ok though, he's a regular so i'll get my $$$ back tonight!!!

Fugly sesh + Gooder sesh = Not too shabby sesh

Word of the day: Champion

Ex: OMG, he open shoved 20x pre with K3o??? What a champion...

So I started the day playing with a crap connection, played like 15 hand in 5 mins... Left for 2 hours and came back ready to deliver some 10NL pwnage. What ended up happening was the complete opposite though. In one hour I lost $23... AA<66 on a 6xx flop for a $13 pot was a key hand. I think the biggest pot I won was $2 and I felt like nothing was going right. So i decided to take a break and played a little Guitar Hero 2. I was playing GH on hard and was getting even more annoyed than when I was playing poker LoooooooooL!!! So back to poker:

I joined 2, 10NL and 1, 20NL

The 20NL was pretty sick. I went down to $10 right away after chasing with a flush draw and bottom pair... then in 2 hand I got up to 35, KK>JJ for a $26 pot, and 77>AK after I flatted a raise pre with the 77, flop K79... then i played like an idiot and lost the profit in the next hour. Left the table at even steven.

The 10NL tables were where I shined. Didn't start off great when AA<55 after a runner runner straight (what a champion.../puuuuuuuuke) but I figured my luck has to change eventually so I started picked up little pots (lots of continuation bets after raising pre) and got up to like $15 of each table, then started hitting flushes and sets and eventually left one table with 25-ish and one with 30-ish (WOOT :D :D :D)

Ended the night when I got the next $10 out of the juicy Bonus account!!! 165 more fpps till the next $10!!! (seems like forever playing at these stakes...)

I also have 10 gold chips now!!! Only 610 away from an iPod video!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

End of Day BR: $610.46

AA Good and Bad

Decided to play a quick sesh b4 i call it quits for saturday, a couple keys hands i'd like to pass on...

I got AA, raise UTG, get 2 callers, flop J55, i c-bet, 1 caller, turn A (umm...NUTS?!?!?!!?), i check (oooooobv) , he checks, riv J, so board is J55AJ, after i raised and he shoved ooooooooobv he had a J, gg sir, he says: "..." Then leaves the table...

AA again, raise, 2 callers, flop all rag 2 spades, guy out of position bets .10c into a .90c, i raise, he calls, turn spade, i got the A of spades, he was pretty short, had $3 left, so i showed him the stack, called, caught his flush, wtg fishy, riv was a brick, he wins...

Overall i was pretty satisfied, didnt play enough hands to get the next $10 from the bonus account, that'll happen tomorrow probably. Any time you finish a sesh in the +++ its always +++EV :D :D :D

End of Sat BR: $588.98

Had a mini sesh, was down right away, AQ < QQ, i raised on the SB, he called on the BB, flop Qxx OOOOOOOOOOOBViously. Managed to work my way back up so i get it was a Quasi +++EV sesh ,lolooooooooool...

New Ending Day BR: $582.74

Piece of Cake / 1k goal

Alright doooooooooooods, (this is not the fuck with your mind post, that one will probably never come LOOOOL)

Word of the day: Chopsticle.

Ex: How could you call with that hand you FUCKING CHOPSTICLE!!! GO FUCK YOURSELF!!!

Taking a massive swing as a micro donk is not fun at all. So I've decided to take a break from Stars because this last month has been fucking horrible. I feel like I can't win a race, obv, I haven't cashed in forever it seems, etc. So I emptied my entire my Bankroll and am moving on to smaller and better things. :D :D :D

Cake Poker offers 33% rakeback. For you non poker people, Rake or the fee, is what the house takes in. Sites take a fee when you join a tournament and when you play cash games. Ex: tournament entry is 10+1 , the $1 is the fee. For cash games they take a certain % for ever pot your in. I get this 33% rakeback for life which is sweeeeeeeeeeeeet!!! The sad part is, people are joining the sites and not knowing that they can get rakeback. Not all sites offer it and you usually must go through a different site to get the rakeback sign up code.

So here we go, GO FUCK YOURSELF STARS... Well, for now anyways. The point of this new Journey is to build a Bank roll by sticking to strict STRIIIIIIIICT BR management rules. So these next couple weeks are for sure going to be a grind and a 1/2. With the help of a good friend I was able to abuse Cake Poker for its entire Sing up Bonus.

My first goal is to hit 1k!!!!!! Wish me luck!!!

I'm a little late in posting since I already started playing on cake 4 days ago, so here goes nothin...

Starting Bank Roll: $500.00

Day 1.

This was the feeling out process. I'm new to a site, I know no one. When i play in a cash session i'll be playing on 3 tables (3x the Fpps). I decided to start the cash game grind on 10NL. 5c / 10c blinds (so if you could imagine, the amount of rake that gets taken in is really small which is unfortunate, OBV, lol). For every 160 Fpps ( frequent player points) I obtain, I receive 10$ from the bonus account. I threw in a $1 Sng and finished 5th as well. Nothing really happend that day other than me trying to get reads on people.

Ending day BR: $486.68

Day 2.

I'm already starting to see some names repeating in the 10NL tables since the volume of people on Cake isn't that high. This day was a little more productive. I cleared 10$ from my bonus but at the same time lost 10$ at a table, lol. Apparently i missed the memo where its ok to call a raise with K5o LOoooool.

Ending day BR: $499.91

Day 3.

My first slip up, I was overtired and was playing like a retard, won a couple pot, lost a couple, etc... Cleared another $10 but managed to lose a $12 pot at the same time, lol... Why do i keep doing that?!?!?!! Lost a couple $1 Sng's. I was down about $30 for the night until i saw some guy at a 100NL Heads up cash table with $24.74 which is a really weird # since you can buy up to 100 at first. I figured he lost most of his $$$ to someone else. So i bought in for 60$ (not at all good BR management but the point was to take his 25) and took his $25 in about 5-10 mins. He never saw is coming!!!

Ending day BR: $494.76

Day 4. (Jan 10th)

Hooray for productivity!!! I was a man on a mission last night. The beginning of my session was a little rocky, lost about $17 to the same person. He had my number i guess, KK < 88 on a 982 flop :( :( :(... so i left that table and joined another one. (gotta love cash games, if u don't like your table pick your ass up and leave)

I stayed at the 3 tables for about 5 hours, had a siiiiiiiiick sesh... I left one table with $65 which is incredible since u can only buy in for $10. I had to reload in the other ones at some point but that was fine. I made enough Fpps to grab another $20 from the good ol' bonus account. I treated myself to a $5 Multi Tourney since I was doing well in the cash sesh. 480 entries, I finished 15th for $18 profit (wooot!!!)

Ending day BR: $578.51

I will post regularly from now on, weeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!! Have a good day you CHOPSTICLE!!!