Definition of a micro donk: (well, mine anyway :D) A player who grinds out the lower limits of the poker totem pole with not too shabby success or no success at all.
Hi, my name is Lightus, and I'm a micro donk.
Since this is my first post I will get into the history of who Lightus really is. Here it is, all the juicy shtuff O.o...
DONKEY: poker term for a STUPID FUCKIN MORON/WHY THE FUCK WOULD YOU DO THAT AASDFJFGSDFGBJLFKDJLHID.
Hi, my name is Lightus, and I was a DONKEY when I first started.
So everyone's gotta start some where right? My first ever hand was played at party poker (weee) nothing too special, 100 free chips I think to join a nightly tourney. I can't really remember how many people were in the tourney but they would fill up in about 10 seconds, lol. So I played those for a while, started to get relatively deep. Then a friend told me about True Poker. Figured I'd check it out, couldn't hurt right? WRONG.
Everyone starts off with a couple thousand free dollars so I began playing 9 man Sit & go's and 18 man SnG's. I was doing fairly decent in them (because free tourneys rig the deck for you :D :D :D). So one day typical boring day I decided to put in my first deposit. 30$ lasted me about a day O.o... then the next 30 lasted me a couple more days... and so on... So i'm done with money poker forever cuz I suck, blah blah blah. WRONG. It's just like meth, one hit and your hooked.
My first deposit was in April of 2005. That is where the donking began. True poker (TP) didn't have a lot of traffic back then (doesn't today either). The first tournament I won was a 10$ MTT, 32 people joined :D. It started at 2:30 am EST and finished at 4:30 am (hooray for the sun and chirping birds!!!). Pretty dumb on my part but I figured what the hell and joined it. So I won 140$ and was on cloud 9 :D...... at 4:30 am... lol...
So I got a fancy shmancy Bank Roll (BR) of about 150$. Didn't take tooooooo long to lose that... Because I had nooooo BR management skills!!! It is said that for proper BR management you should have approx. 100 buy-ins for the tourney you want to take part in. Who would actually follow that though??? NOT ME... I'm a Multi Table Tournament (MTT) player at heart and the MTT's weren't really cheap on TP... with buy-ins of 10$, 20, 30, 50, a micro donk like me needed to become a huge lucksack. On TP that never quite happend. So without beating around the bush here are my final TP #'s since I don't play there anymore:
Deposit Total: 2021.00 USD
Withdrawal Total:1530.04 USD
Pretty crap but once again I didn't play smart and deserved to lose that much.
Fast Forward to August 05. I make my first deposit on the Poker Monster known a Poker Stars. from August until the Dec 31st I played in 40 tourneys and cashed in 8. With buy-ins varying from 1$ to 33$ (fuckin moron) :D :D :D... The best players in the world cash in approx 15% of their tourneys. 8/40 = 20% = not bad riiiiight?!?!?!!?! WRONG. The problem is, they have the BR for it and I didn't.
| 2006 January | | Hold'em NL | | Hold'em L/PL | | Omaha | | Omaha Hi lo | | Other Games | | |
| | | Profit | | <$0 | | $0 | | $0 | | $0 | | $0 | | <$0 | | | ROI | | -100% | | 0% | | 0% | | 0% | | 0% | | -100% | | | | ITM | | 0/5 | | 0/0 | | 0/0 | | 0/0 | | 0/0 | | 0/5 | | |
| | ITM Pos. | | 1st | 0 | | 2nd | 0 | | 3rd | 0 | | 4-10. | 0 | | Other | 0 |
| 0 | |
| | Avg. Finish | | Early | 20% (10%) | | EM | 40% (20%) | | Mid. | 40% (40%) | | ML | 0% (20%) | | Late | 0% (10%) | |
| 2006 February | | Hold'em NL | | Hold'em L/PL | | Omaha | | Omaha Hi lo | | Other Games | | |
| | Prizes | | $76 | | $0 | | $0 | | $0 | | $0 | | $76 | | | Profit | | <$0 | | $0 | | $0 | | <$0 | | $0 | | <$0 | | | ROI | | -50% | | 0% | | 0% | | -97% | | 0% | | -54% | | | | ITM | | 1/9 | | 0/0 | | 0/0 | | 0/1 | | 0/0 | | 1/10 | | |
| | ITM Pos. | | 1st | 0 | | 2nd | 0 | | 3rd | 0 | | 4-10. | 0 | | Other | 1 |
| 1 | |
| | Avg. Finish | | Early | 0% (10%) | | EM | 60% (20%) | | Mid. | 30% (40%) | | ML | 0% (20%) | | Late | 10% (10%) |
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| 2006 March | | Hold'em NL | | Hold'em L/PL | | Omaha | | Omaha Hi lo | | Other Games | | |
| | Prizes | | $0 | | $0 | | $0 | | $77 | | $0 | | $77 | | | Profit | | <$0 | | $0 | | $0 | | <$0 | | $0 | | <$0 | | | ROI | | -100% | | 0% | | 0% | | -42% | | 0% | | -68% | | | | ITM | | 0/5 | | 0/0 | | 0/0 | | 1/8 | | 0/0 | | 1/13 | | |
| | ITM Pos. | | 1st | 0 | | 2nd | 0 | | 3rd | 0 | | 4-10. | 1 | | Other | 0 |
| 1 | |
| | Avg. Finish | | Early | 15% (10%) | | EM | 23% (20%) | | Mid. | 38% (40%) | | ML | 15% (20%) | | Late | 8% (10%) |
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So the first 3 months SUCKED... 2/28 in cashes...
| 2006 April | | Hold'em NL | | Hold'em L/PL | | Omaha | | Omaha Hi lo | | Other Games | | |
| | Prizes | | $0 | | $0 | | $42 | | $504 | | $0 | | $546 | | | Profit | | <$0 | | $0 | | <$0 | | $416 | | <$0 | | $337 | | | ROI | | -100% | | 0% | | -36% | | 473% | | -100% | | 161% | | | ABI | | $22 | | $0 | | $22 | | $18 | | $11 | | $19 | | | ITM | | 0/2 | | 0/0 | | 1/3 | | 1/5 | | 0/1 | | 2/11 | | |
| | ITM Pos. | | 1st | 0 | | 2nd | 1 | | 3rd | 0 | | 4-10. | 1 | | Other | 0 |
| 2 | |
| | Avg. Finish | | Early | 18% (10%) | | EM | 9% (20%) | | Mid. | 55% (40%) | | ML | 0% (20%) | | Late | 18% (10%) |
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OH HI APRIL, lol. so I tried playing Omaha High/Low with a BR of probably 33$ I started playing 11$ and 22$ MTT's weeeeee... Then this happend:
| Tournament | Date & Time: | Prizepool | Buy-in |  | Limit Omaha Hi/Lo |
| 15 Apr 2006 04:15 | $2,880 | $11 | | Game | Running | Entries | Avg. Buy-in | | Omaha Hi/Lo FL | 4 hour 51 minutes | 288 | $11 |
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| 1. | kid apache | n/a |  |
| $792 |
| 2. | Lightus | 95.56 |  |
| $504 |
We actually chopped for about 600$ each so SHIP IT SON!!! (dont look at the percentage since thats what it is at now (i'm a lot gooder now)
| 2006 May | | Hold'em NL | | Hold'em L/PL | | Omaha | | Omaha Hi lo | | Other Games | | |
| | Prizes | | $0 | | $0 | | $26 | | $0 | | $0 | | $26 | | | Profit | | <$0 | | $0 | | $15 | | <$0 | | $0 | | <$0 | | | ROI | | -100% | | 0% | | 136% | | -100% | | 0% | | -87% | | | ABI | | $20 | | $0 | | $11 | | $22 | | $0 | | $20 | | | ITM | | 0/4 | | 0/0 | | 1/1 | | 0/5 | | 0/0 | | 1/10 | | |
| | ITM Pos. | | 1st | 0 | | 2nd | 0 | | 3rd | 0 | | 4-10. | 0 | | Other | 1 |
| 1 | |
| | Avg. Finish | | Early | 10% (10%) | | EM | 10% (20%) | | Mid. | 40% (40%) | | ML | 30% (20%) | | Late | 10% (10%) |
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| 2006 June | | Hold'em NL | | Hold'em L/PL | | Omaha | | Omaha Hi lo | | Other Games | | |
| | | Profit | | $0 | | $0 | | $0 | | <$0 | | $0 | | <$0 | | | ROI | | 0% | | 0% | | 0% | | -100% | | 0% | | -100% | | | | ITM | | 0/0 | | 0/0 | | 0/0 | | 0/7 | | 0/0 | | 0/7 | | |
| | ITM Pos. | | 1st | 0 | | 2nd | 0 | | 3rd | 0 | | 4-10. | 0 | | Other | 0 |
| 0 | |
| | Avg. Finish | | Early | 14% (10%) | | EM | 43% (20%) | | Mid. | 43% (40%) | | ML | 0% (20%) | | Late | 0% (10%) |
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| 2006 July | | Hold'em NL | | Hold'em L/PL | | Omaha | | Omaha Hi lo | | Other Games | | |
| | | Profit | | <$0 | | $0 | | <$0 | | <$0 | | <$0 | | <$0 | | | ROI | | -100% | | 0% | | -100% | | -100% | | -100% | | -100% | | | ABI | | $22 | | $0 | | $22 | | $26 | | $11 | | $23 | | | ITM | | 0/1 | | 0/0 | | 0/1 | | 0/5 | | 0/1 | | 0/8 | | |
| | ITM Pos. | | 1st | 0 | | 2nd | 0 | | 3rd | 0 | | 4-10. | 0 | | Other | 0 |
| 0 | |
| | Avg. Finish | | Early | 25% (10%) | | EM | 38% (20%) | | Mid. | 25% (40%) | | ML | 13% (20%) | | Late | 0% (10%) | |
CRAP CRAP CRAP 1/25 ITM (in the $$$) WHY AM I STILL PLAYING!?!?!!?!? CUZ I'M ADDICTED PERHAPS?!?!?!?!!? Notice how all the average buy-ins are extremely high and how i'm not winning a penny...
My next post will be the one that really fucks with your brain and mine of course...
